Monday, 30 March 2015

This is it - Love hurts

Laying on the bed, looking around the room without seeing anything, tears falling down the red hot chicks like big drops of cold rain... trying to breath, but every breath you take is like acid.

--- What I am going to do? I want him/her so badly! I can't let go. I thought I could, but I was so dead wrong! 
You're upset with yourself for haven't been able to see beyond empty words.
You both were wearing a mask, lying to yourselves that is nothing serious. "Its just a flame and it will go away, eventually."
Then you're upset because your love is put aside for reasons which make no sense.
You torture and blame yourself. You lost confidence and feel like nobody wants you.. then, a tiny idea blossom in your confused head:
--- Maybe I can do something to make him/her stay. 
At the same time, you tell yourself that she's/he's not the only person in this world, you'll find someone else. "It wasn't going to work anyway. We were not made one for each other... Too much drama. Too many differences. Was unhealthy."


Your brain knows that, but your heart refuses to agree with it. As always.
Love is not mathematics, is physics.  
--- I love you, I always did, but I can't live with the fear that one day you'll woke up and won't want me anymore. Since the beginning I went towards a relationship, but you didn't want one. One day you wanted me, the other not. You were not very consistent. 
Incredulous, open your eyes:
--- You've never told me these things. I am not consistent?! Well, think twice. 
I thought you were the one who didn't want a "regular" relationship. You kept saying you've got nothing to offer and you were not ready. I couldn't pretend something like that when you put that in clear so MANY, many times. 
How could I've dared?!? I didn't want to scare you!
I even thought to give you a key of my place... How would you have reacted to this?

You both hid what you felt... God knows why. And now, he/she suffers, you suffer.
We are not wizards, we can't read the stars.

Everywhere you look you see happy couples, happy stories... and you would have wanted that so badly... but imposed yourself to accept the fact you don't deserve something like that. It wasn't destiny... and you lived feeling like a thief or a liar... when all you wanted is to tell everyone how deep was your love.
I thought about writing it down on every wall, tree or street... like  a child.

You're broken hearted and feel like dying every second more. So pathetic.
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--- How many of you find themselves in this short story? It's a classic. It's been like this from the beginning of times.
We all have our experiences, we all know what suffering is. We all want to be loved.
--------- I would say: I want to love and to be loved by the same person. :D ---------

My suggestion for you is to live (as I said in here) every single moment of happiness. Love/hug/make love as it was the last time you'll see each other, like it or not, it could actually be the last time. Life is full of surprises. Good and bad.
Of course, you'll feel frustrated and maybe you'll want to end it for a reason or another, but, believe me when I say, PRIDE/vanity or fear shouldn't have place in a love story.
Fight for it if you think it's worth it. Fight with every single atom of your body... but only if you know you can win.
If not... well, as much as it kills me to tell you, it's a waste of time, energy and feelings.

Love doesn't last forever, maybe on legends/movies/books.
Studies revealed that it lives 2 years, more and less. This may vary, from couple to couple, from people to people.
Most love stories have a 2-3 years life, true, but many live much more. It all depends on so many factors.
Don't start a relationship with the fear that sooner or late it will end.
It's counterproductive.
It will end when it will end. You can't fix terms. You can't control your heart. Sometimes it ends from a part, not from another. And this hurts so badly. Still, you can't force anyone to keep loving you.

Ps. 1 People asked me if LOVE is my main interest.
Yes, love is the most important thing for me. Love for parents, siblings, relatives, friends: love for pets, animals or birds, love for the nature, for a colour, love for a man...
It's my favourite subject ever. Inexhaustible. I've learned so much, but one can NEVER know enough.
What I know for sure is that love gives you strengths the way it will leave completely empty when is gone. Nothing you can do, just move on. You'll love again. Trust me.

Ps.  If you enjoyed what you've read, you could "like" my Facebook page or leave a short/long comment. Thank you.

Image from Tshirt.factory-ro.

4 comments:

  1. Love hurts, that's true, but what would we be without it? A passionate love story is complicated and many compromises must be done. You said well: fight, don't let go if you really love someone.It doesn't matter how long will live a relationship, nobody knows, so take every second of good from it. Unfortunately, maybe you are fighting alone... and in that case, it's a lost battle. Nobody wants to be lonely. Keep writing, I really like your style. So simple and neat. Thanks.

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    1. Hi Jo. Love is chaos, as someone once said, but it feels so awesome when it works. Unfortunately, many love stories have a "difficult life" and ends in drama. That's life anyway. Loving is living, suffering is living. Thank you very much. You are very kind.

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  2. Love... I wonder if it does exist... Sometimes I believe it is just a myth. Some people are incapable of feeling any emotions.

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  3. Love is not a myth, I can assure you. It is very much real, just... not the way we'll want it. It doesn't last forever, but it is beautiful when is on. Unfortunately, you are right: some people are just incapable of love... sometimes it's not their fault: were born like this. Some other times, too many disappointments, too much pain transform a heart into a rock. So sad.

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