Sunday, 26 April 2015

What is Love?

That's a very easy question. Isn't it?
Not sure...
We have personal opinions about love, we have opinions that others share with us and we have books/studies done about it.
But Love is not a perfect science, is not mathematic, as I said, is chemical. I am speaking, of course, about the love between two people (men and women), not about the unconditional love we have for parents, relatives, siblings. That's a matter of blood. We can't compete with that.

Love... when it comes, makes you feel complete, it makes you want to do things you've never done before, it gives you strengths you didn't know you had. It makes you fly in heaven and burn in hell. It makes you think nothing is impossible.

But how do you know it is love what you feel?! 

  • Does your heart starts beating really fast when you see, talk, look at them?
  • Does your body crave for a touch, a kiss, a hug, a word?
  • Do you love seeing them laughing? 
  • Do you wake up in the middle of the night looking for them?
  • Do you miss them when they are not with you?
  • Would you change your plans just to be with them?
  • Do you understand them without words?
  • Would you change your way of doing things just to avoid hurting them?
  • What would you really do be with them?

To me, Aerosmith said exactly what love is and must feel.


Unfortunately love is not always red, sometimes is black or blue (or white/purple, etc. Of course, I am referring to the mourning colours from different countries around the world).

Love could be easy when you are 18, it could be complicated and you are 30 and it's definitely too late when you are dead. :D (sarcasm, sorry, couldn't avoid it).

Easy because you still believe in fairy tales. Of course, when it's over or it doesn't go the way you were expecting becomes really complicated.
Why complicated? 
Well, people like to complicate things. No, I am talking nonsense!!
Who likes complicating? I most certainly don't!
Complicated when you fall in love with someone who doesn't think like you, for example.
And we are all unique and indivisible. Different characters/personalities, different expectations, opinions, mentality, culture, etc.etc.etc.
I could go on for days. 

I have been watching Mr Selfridge, a British series television drama (1910). It's my new favourite show (don't watch television much). Really interesting to see that love has always been complicated for many people. 

Love is different for men and women. 
Truth is... love is red/pink, happiness, joy and laughs when it works, especially at the beginning, then it becomes black, stressful, pain and endless suffering when the passion starts fading or when life problems intervene (paying bills, a baby, etc). 
Also love is a course when it is not mutual, when is misplaced or impossible. 
You can't decide who do you love. It is not up to your will. Sadly. 
I changed my mind, you could learn to love someone who's good to you. 
It's hard work, but is doable. 
You can make your heart stop beating for a person who doesn't give you what you need, and you can teach it to feel the heartbeats of another person who gives you more than you need. - But this is a different story.

It is NOT love if you call that person when you are bored, in need of talk to someone or you just don't want to be alone. 
It is not love when it is always you deciding when to text/kiss/hug/meet.
No, that's a game in which one always has more to lose.  

In Mr Selfridge, Season 1, ep 8, I burst in tears when a man after losing his wife also decides to leave the woman with whom he had been having an affair for the last 12 years.
That was a very complicated love. Extremely sad and unfair in so many ways, but only for the women involved. 
I recommend the series, is very insightful. Not my cup of tea, but definitely so many things to learn and be aware of. 

Love is a blossom tree, cherish it while you can, one day later and you will have missed smelling the perfume and enjoyed the spectacular look of the flowers.  
Nothing lasts forever. 
And never run away from it, never fight it if is for a free/single, adult person. Just live it and give your soul the chance to be happy... for how long it's destined to be. 

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Thank you.

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