Thursday, 13 October 2016

Social platforms and arrogance


We all know what arrogance is, right?

But for the sake of this post, let's assume we don't, OK?

Arrogance is  an insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people; an attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

I admit that I've been arrogant several times in the past. Except I didn't know it was arrogance. I thought I had the right to feel that way because I have worked hard.
I read a lot in my life and that made me believe I deserved a little more consideration than others.
Luckily, I don't feel the same nowadays. But first I needed to understand that nothing gives us the right to think we are better than others.
I read because I like to, not because I am smarter. It's a passion of mine.




The other days I had a discussion with the guy I never met in person. I had a look at his page first and I found him interesting. 1 minute after starting to chat, I realised that it was all for show.
I don't like Facebook, people posting all sorts of things to make them feel better. They don't have secrets and annoy everyone with their silly updates. People who have things to do, who are happy, don't waste their time with such frivolities.”
I could not agree more, that's exactly what I think, but does that give me the right to feel superior?
Absolutely not!
I don't like letting people know what I do every 5 seconds, so I don't update my status. I don't have the will, nor the time.

Facebook is a social platform, we are free to update our status any 2 seconds, if we really want to do so. We are free to post anything about our lives. That's one reason it's so popular.
If you don't like it, cancel your profile. Nobody forces you to stay in there.
Updating your status with intelligent quotes of famous humans, and criticising everyone else for expressing their own thoughts, is not a sign of superiority, of the contrary, a demonstration of pure arrogance.

I am annoyed when some of my friends update their status every five minutes, because they are making me miss on updates of other of my friends. 
I would really like people to consider that when they post. Monopolising an entire page with frivolities, will induce people to give you ignore, and not because they don't like you, but because they'd love to stay in touch with other people too.
But then again, it is up to every each of us.

I have several friends who don't have accounts in there, and what I have found out about this choice is kinda worrying. One reason many don't bother, is because they are afraid of peoples' reactions, comments or impressions.
Just a few admit that in front of others, others lie to themselves thinking is because they don't have time. On the other hand, these people have accounts on different social platforms which don't work the same way as Facebook.

Other reasons could be lack of time, different interests, privacy, introversion, lack of confidence and sense of consideration for their own person, etc.

I once been asked how many biographies I read.
I don't keep track of the books I take in my hands, so I didn't answer.
This guy then said that he was sure to have read much more than me.
That phrase alone, tells you how arrogant a person can be.

Same guy dominated the chat with things about himself and it didn't give me the way to intervene. I told him I don't have time to reply to his statements, and I really disliked the way the conversation went. I also found his personality shallow and narcissistic. 
He paused for a second to come back with: “I don't like virtual discussions, they could be deceiving. If I was in front of you, you'd have liked me.”

I agree that virtual relationships could be tricky, but they still say a lot about your interlocutor and yourself, of course.

I know of a person who's extremely honest, sensible, sensitive, generally a great person. This person cannot stand superficiality, vulgarity, opportunism and all these negative things.
I like this person a lot, but when he starts to fight with those whose personality is rich in expressions of vulgarism, I cannot stop myself from thinking that he's extremely arrogant and doesn't know it.

How can he/she be like that? It is wrong!
Why don't you react, why don't you partner with me if you think the same?
How can you ignore the way he speaks and act?

It is simply not my business
I am not fond of modern art, so I don't buy any item like. But if I bought  something I do not like, and complained every day about how bad that looks, and how unhappy it makes me feel every time I see that object, what does that say about my personality? Masochism?

We cannot tell people how to act, what to eat, say, dress, think.
We cannot impose our way of thinking and acting on others.
Every each of us is different, we need to accept these divergent personalities if we want to have a peaceful atmosphere around us.
When we don't like something or someone, we have the choice to either stay away, to ignore and maintain calm, or to complain or fight with every opportunity. 
I consider the last choice, extremely energy consuming. I could employ my energy in better ways. But that's only me.
Remember that we have NO right to impose our culture, beliefs, ideas, opinions, and so on; but we are free to express them.

The only person we could change, is US. I can change myself, but I cannot change you.

We might be more profound than other people, we could have read infinite more than others, we could own several diplomas, we could have knowledge, but intelligence is something else.

When we are wise, we don't feel arrogant. 

We focus on what we can or should do, not on what others say. That's their business.  

I must be honest though and say that if I was an employer, before hiring a person, I would have a look of their accounts on social platforms. I would not employ many people based on that. But we are just human beings. With design flaws. 

The conclusion is: we are all different, and some are indeed better than others - as I've written in here -, it is nothing wrong with being aware of our qualities/strengths/merits, what is wrong is to feel superior and despise everyone around you. 

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