Friday, 21 April 2017

Feeling like quitting?

I once helped my brother to make some cozonaci = Romanian traditional sweet bread (similar to panettone) - He lives in Canada, and we had to Skype. It was great fun.... Not really.

My brother is vegetarian (doesn't eat eggs among other animal products) and these cozonaci are famous for the use of loads of eggs. Some would knead the dough only with eggs (no other liquids). Therefore, one cozonac might contain five eggs (or more).

Because I used to cook and experiment bizarre and brave recipes to publish on my blog (reteteindraznete.blogspot.com), I invented a vegan recipe for this traditional sweet bread (no eggs, no dairy).
The result was spectacular! What a surprise!
I baked them like thirty times since my first experiment and every time was a great success. So easy, economical and delicious!

A true Romanian (especially one born in Moldova like me) would never make a cozonac without eggs, so for many, my recipe is blasphemy. Ha, ha... see if I care. :p

My brother tried to bake them before, but they didn't rise, exactly like this time and he was very disappointed. He said that if he can't have the cozonaci he's dreaming for this time, he'll give up trying.
I said that he should try until he succeeds. Again, and again and again. And again. 
"It is not over until you win." - Les Brown
If you really want something, you don't give up, you change, adapt, invent and reinvent until you get it!
If you give up, you'll never succeed!

Last year, I took a tough decision and moved departments in my job. I was very tired of working on the same project for almost two years and needed a change.
Then I wanted to work only three days a week so I could focus on my writing for the remaining four.

It's a long story, but long story short, I now work on various projects and different languages on the same day. I speak on the phone with people far away, and only God knows how much I dislike that. I have never been a phone lover. If it was for me, I would never buy a phone.
Anyway, it's incredibly challenging. I felt like quitting for five months or so. Every evening when going home from work, completely exhausted, I would think that next morning I will hand in my resignation. Then I said I'll huddle up and find a way to make it work for my own good.
And I tried again and again with little success.

Looking for a job is extremely time and energy consuming, I didn't want to do that. This is not my country, and my English is still a work in progress.
I need a part-time job so I could pursue my dream. It's not easy to find a company so flexible like mine, especially now with the Brexit nightmare.

Curious enough is that I love my job, I loved it from the very first day. It involves analysing human behaviour, so it's very much in tune with another big passion of mine.

I was sad, stressed, and disappointed in me for feeling so not up to the new role. I trusted I was going to do great. I did my best, but my best was bad.
I thought it was what I wanted and needed, but it was too much and couldn't handle the pressure. I felt overwhelmed and completely lost.
"Be careful what you wish for," right?

I burst into tears several times during my training and after. I thought I would never make it.
I didn't have time to go to the toilet or make a cup of coffee. I didn't stop to say hello to my old colleagues because I wasn't able to reach my targets. I was very stressed and all shaky. I even lost weight (the only positive side effect). :p
On Sundays nights I couldn't sleep and Monday mornings were rough. I didn't want to get out of the house. The 50 minutes walk at 6 in the morning didn't seem like a great exercise anymore.
Having a shower away from home, getting changed and ready for work in the office toilets started to feel like a terrible burden. I was very annoyed that I had no other choice.
But I forced myself because it has been a free choice to make that change. And I knew the end was close if I wasn't going to do something about it.

So I took a holiday and reflected about why I like the job that much, and how come that's not enough to make me deliver what is expected of me.
I put on the table the pros and cons and realised I was just very tired and not at all prepared for the change.
I went back to work determined to do better, and I have been trying harder than ever to find in this job what I've never had: peace, appreciation, and stability.

But that's a little too much to ask after the Referendum, right? I could very politely be invited to leave the country any moment now. However, I can't worry about something I cannot change.

I think my job is helping me grow personally and professionally.
I believe it makes me stronger and more confident. And I am doing everything in my power to make it work. Not only for the company but for myself.

One of the things that I have in mind when I strive to do the best I can is: If I had a company, would I be happy with an employee like myself? 
And the answer is YES, totally! I couldn't ask for a better one. Unless he/she works for free. :p

Anyway, I am happy now and don't think I'll quit soon. I am extremely busy with other projects, don't have time and energy to waste.

So, if you are in the same situation like I was, when you feel like quitting think about what made you accept that job in the first place.
Make a list with the pros and cons. - I wrote about it before.
Take everything into consideration and be honest with yourself and your company.
Every job gives you something, but some jobs give you more. What do you give to the job?

And after doing that if you still feel it's time to move on, then do it!
It's hard to find a job these days, but when wasn't?!
You think you deserve better? Then work for it, prove to yourself (not to others) that you can do better. I believe in you!

Please, if you appreciated don't hesitate to like, share, comment, or join me on Facebook.
Thank you for your visit. See you soon, amazing human being.



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