Thursday, 10 August 2017

Distractions & Dreams


I used to adore phones when I was two or three. I don't know what happened after that that I started being afraid of them. I can't stand them anymore. If I could, I wouldn't have one.
Speaking on the phone for more than 1 minute, it's a huge waste of time for me. 

A year back, I've got a phone call from a random company. Spam we call these sort of calls. The foreign guy didn't sell anything, he just needed me to reply to a few questions. As I always try to be nice and patient with these sort of things, I offered him 5 minutes and replied to his questions. 
I got very frustrated after this time as it seemed that the questions were infinite. 
Since then, I started to receive at least ten calls a day from various companies, mostly car accidents related. Except I don't have a car in England. 
I blocked the numbers, but of course, they know that and adapt. They are very resourceful. 
Calling people to propose a business or to ask for charity, should be punishable by law. Especially when you call more than three times. 
I wrote about this before. 
Yesterday I got nine calls. I can't get upset with the people who call. It's their job. But I don't pick up. I didn't pick up in a very long time. Which means that someone who actually needs to talk to me, can't get hold of me either. That's the price you pay when you are nice to someone who asks questions over the phone. 
Don't ever reply to these questions unless you are intended to change your phone number. 
Don't shout and insult these people. It's their job to call and trust me, it's one of the worst. You think about how would you feel being insulted while doing your job. Does that feel nice? I don't think so. 
If they have your number, it's because you ticked a box somewhere that said it was okay for them to share your number with others. They didn't steal your number, you gave it to them in a way or another. Be upset with you and pay more attention next time. 

I am a writer who was afraid to dream that she has the right to want to be a writer until she turned forty. My time on this earth is limited. So it's yours. 

A writer writes. Yes, that's what they do if you didn't know. There is no such a thing as "free time" for writers. Not even 5 minutes a day. 
If they don't write, they think about how to develop a story. They need to find names, decides how many words, chapters and pages a book has to have. 
Writers don't go out. 
Writers need peace and quiet at every time. That's why many of these people live in utter solitude and indigence. 
Writers can't spend time on social networks. 
They don't watch TV or listen to the radio. 
Writers don't live "normal" lives. They live in the story they create in a certain moment. 
Their brains work even when they are asleep. The mind connects invisible dots, individuates flaws and inconsistencies in the story, and many other things. Any distractions break this flaw. 
You can't, no, you shouldn't pull them out with any random excuse. Not even if the house is on fire. 

I lost forty years of my life. I can't waste a minute more. 
Every time you feel offended or upset that our relationship is cold and we don't interact as we used to and you pretend attention from me, I take time from my stories. Time that I don't have. 
You stab me in the heart and send me to the grave before I finish to put in writing everything I need to. 
Why are you so selfish and cruel? Why is your life more important than mine?
I don't ask anything from you. I just want to live the life I chose. I sacrificed everything to be able to do this. 
If I spend my time on Skype, messenger, phone, social networks, etc. when do I have time to write and develop a story in my mind? My day has 24 hours just like yours. 
You cannot lay in bed complaining about the weather and ask me to call someone on your behalf. I cannot stand making phone calls. It kills me. I don't call people on my behalf, to be honest. I write emails. And I use Google when I don't know how to do something. Anything. Google has all the answers. Wherever you are, at any time and hour, Google has thousands of solutions to all your problems. You have time to play games, but you don't know how to do a research online? 
LEARN! Nobody was born already knowing things. We all have to learn everything. 
Wait, what? You need to relax? 
This might come as a total surprise for you, but I am human too. I too need to relax. Yes. I am tired, despondent, in pain too. Except I don't have time!

My time has the same value as yours. Be respectful. If I don't call you, I don't take anything from you. But if I do call you, I take everything from me. 
Do you get what I am saying? No? Read again because I told you many times and you didn't want to hear. 
Why is your pain more painful than mine? How do you know how I feel inside when you never listen? You refuse to understand my very clear statements. 

You can do whatever you please with your time, but don't interfere with mine. 
I have a dream and very limited time. What part of the phrase: "It's my life!" is not clear to you? 30 minutes on speaking about nothing are several hours or days to get back in a mind's writer. It is not an automatic process. You go back to your life normally... I don't. 

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Thank you and see you soon, amazing human being. 



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