Another taboo subject, involving romance (of course): a love between a man and a woman (this time), but the woman is much older.
It's a matter very close to me because I lived a story like this a few years ago. And it's been quite difficult. It ended in tears. Many, many tears and infinite struggle from both sides.
I didn't have enough courage to fight against the prejudices.
Endless passion, unbearable pain, continues battles: against me, against him, family, society.
It had no chance from the start. I knew it, he knew it. But love has no barriers, no reasons.
A very delicate subject, divergent opinions. Some are contrary, some don't even want to conceive anything like that: "it's against nature".
--- Is it?! Who decided that? Based on what?!
--- Are the divorced rates lower between "normal" marriages (same age or the man being older than the woman) and "abnormal" marriages?
No, they aren't!
Unconventional marriages/love stories/relationships have the same probability of success as common/normal ones.
Age doesn't have anything to do with the triumph of a marriage, compatibility does!
Nobody and nothing would make me believe that all 40 year old men are more mature than all 25 years old men!
You can be mature at 20, as you could be completely immature at 50!
It's the way we've been raised/taught, the society/the religion = the education we've been given thatimpose
When I turned 30 I noticed that I am very much courted also by younger boys not only same age/older men.
It could be because I don't look my age (it's a fact), or because some younger boys prefer older women.
Or it could be that I've always been preferred by younger lads. :D (modesty... :D)
------------
I have been told that younger men see older women as trophies.
Hmm... I am not sure is quite plausible.
I actually think the other way around: an older woman would see a younger boy as a trophy.
--- How could you compete with the freshness of a 19 year girl?!
There are so many older women in this world, I don't think that could be the reason for my "success" with younger men.
I did ask some of these younger boys why do they fell for me and I had very flattering answers.
------- Don't worry, I will spare you the lack of modesty. :D --------
It could be for the fact I am more openwith
To be clear: I am NOT a one night-stand person, a libertine or I only think of one thing. On the contrary. Been single for many, many, MANY years between every relationship I had.
------------
I had relationships with older men and didn't work either. Terrible experiences: irresponsible, immature, childish, dependent of parents, etc.
So, from my experiences, age has nothing to do with the durability (or success) of any relationship.
If you fell in love with a person who's got the same interests/views about the world/mentality and similar personality, well, that's the recipe for a long/intense/happy love story.
Age is just a stupid mental obstacle! I know, I've been there.
Don't allow the society to dictate who do you need to have a love story with.
It's your right, FIGHT for it!
Love is the only thing that matters and has the almighty power to make everyone happy, or extremely unhappy.
Many Happy years to all those women who had the courage to marry/or have a relationship with a younger boy against all odds! WELL DONE!!!
It's a matter very close to me because I lived a story like this a few years ago. And it's been quite difficult. It ended in tears. Many, many tears and infinite struggle from both sides.
I didn't have enough courage to fight against the prejudices.
- "I am a woman, you're just a child! Men are less mature than women same age. Men have to be older than women in order for a relationship to work. It's been like this since the beginning of the world.
- It's impossible!
- It will never work!
- What would people say?!".
etc
Endless passion, unbearable pain, continues battles: against me, against him, family, society.
It had no chance from the start. I knew it, he knew it. But love has no barriers, no reasons.
A very delicate subject, divergent opinions. Some are contrary, some don't even want to conceive anything like that: "it's against nature".
--- Is it?! Who decided that? Based on what?!
--- Are the divorced rates lower between "normal" marriages (same age or the man being older than the woman) and "abnormal" marriages?
No, they aren't!
Unconventional marriages/love stories/relationships have the same probability of success as common/normal ones.
Age doesn't have anything to do with the triumph of a marriage, compatibility does!
Nobody and nothing would make me believe that all 40 year old men are more mature than all 25 years old men!
You can be mature at 20, as you could be completely immature at 50!
It's the way we've been raised/taught, the society/the religion = the education we've been given that
When I turned 30 I noticed that I am very much courted also by younger boys not only same age/older men.
It could be because I don't look my age (it's a fact), or because some younger boys prefer older women.
Or it could be that I've always been preferred by younger lads. :D (modesty... :D)
------------
I have been told that younger men see older women as trophies.
Hmm... I am not sure is quite plausible.
I actually think the other way around: an older woman would see a younger boy as a trophy.
--- How could you compete with the freshness of a 19 year girl?!
There are so many older women in this world, I don't think that could be the reason for my "success" with younger men.
I did ask some of these younger boys why do they fell for me and I had very flattering answers.
------- Don't worry, I will spare you the lack of modesty. :D
It could be for the fact I am more open
To be clear: I am NOT a one night-stand person, a libertine or I only think of one thing. On the contrary. Been single for many, many, MANY years between every relationship I had.
------------
I had relationships with older men and didn't work either. Terrible experiences: irresponsible, immature, childish, dependent of parents, etc.
So, from my experiences, age has nothing to do with the durability (or success) of any relationship.
If you fell in love with a person who's got the same interests/views about the world/mentality and similar personality, well, that's the recipe for a long/intense/happy love story.
Age is just a stupid mental obstacle! I know, I've been there.
Don't allow the society to dictate who do you need to have a love story with.
It's your right, FIGHT for it!
Love is the only thing that matters and has the almighty power to make everyone happy, or extremely unhappy.
Many Happy years to all those women who had the courage to marry/or have a relationship with a younger boy against all odds! WELL DONE!!!
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If any of the above helped you in any way, as a Thank You, visit my LinkedIn account or like my Facebook page.
It would be highly appreciated.
That way I will know that my work isn't in vain.
Thank you so much to those who don't need to be begged to do so.
Love is Chaos.
ReplyDeleteJust a different kind. Unpredictable in all forms. You can guess what will work, and speculate what might not. But chaos is exactly what it is. It heals and burns us all. You are a very talented writer.
I couldn't agree more! Thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteDear Cristina, you are indeed a person of wonders. Let me tell you something: my best friend is married with a younger man. 15 years younger than her and this year they've celebrated 20 years of happy marriage. I am not saying it was easy, but which marriages are perfect. Where there is love, everything is possible.
ReplyDeleteThanks for comment. I know many couples like that. I am the first to say that love is the secret to happiness and age has nothing to say in that. Unfortunately not everybody thinks like that. It's quite difficult.
DeleteYou're definitely a keeper! I would fight for you against the whole world. I'd never give up. Women like you are hard to find. Only a fool wouldn't understand that. Sensitive, smart, reasonable, gorgeous, so much sex-appeal, you know how to cook... Do you have flaws?
ReplyDelete:))))) I do have flaws, many, too many. :D But without false modesty, I am a keeper if anyone can catch me. Too much superficiality in this world. Thanks for your comment. It made my evening.
Delete