I have had this feeling since I was a child.
At first, I told myself that it was a silly sensation that every human has.
When it didn't go away, I convinced myself I was born in the wrong era. Maybe too early or too late.
I have been thinking...
I wrote so many memoirs when my intention is to write happy fictional stories. And I am quite good at it.
But then I need to liberate my soul from this eternal bad luck.
I believed that once I put the bad on paper, the good will shine.
Except it doesn't. The bad never ends.
These memoirs are proof that I don't belong anywhere.
Nobody can have eternal bad luck.
I think I am trying too hard to live a life that I shouldn't have had in the first place.
Was it my fault for coming into this world?
Why have I decided to come in the first place?
Because I believe we chose to be born.
We chose from who, when, and where.
I also believe that we all have a purpose and if we don't find it in this life, we are bound to be born again until we find it.
I sometimes think that I found my purpose.
The truth is, I don't know what my purpose is and I am so, so, so tired. I don't want to be born again.
I don't want to go through this again. I really don't.
That's why I work so hard. Because I don't want to be born again. I want my soul to be at peace. Flying free wherever... just not here.
I doubt myself and I think I am worth nothing.
I think I am not good enough and that's why I don't get anywhere despite my hard work.
But a friend of mine tells me that people fear my brilliance. So they don't support me because they don't want to give me the opportunity to be someone they would like to be.
But how does this help me?
At first, I told myself that it was a silly sensation that every human has.
When it didn't go away, I convinced myself I was born in the wrong era. Maybe too early or too late.
I have been thinking...
I wrote so many memoirs when my intention is to write happy fictional stories. And I am quite good at it.
But then I need to liberate my soul from this eternal bad luck.
I believed that once I put the bad on paper, the good will shine.
Except it doesn't. The bad never ends.
These memoirs are proof that I don't belong anywhere.
Nobody can have eternal bad luck.
I think I am trying too hard to live a life that I shouldn't have had in the first place.
Was it my fault for coming into this world?
Why have I decided to come in the first place?
Because I believe we chose to be born.
We chose from who, when, and where.
I also believe that we all have a purpose and if we don't find it in this life, we are bound to be born again until we find it.
I sometimes think that I found my purpose.
The truth is, I don't know what my purpose is and I am so, so, so tired. I don't want to be born again.
I don't want to go through this again. I really don't.
That's why I work so hard. Because I don't want to be born again. I want my soul to be at peace. Flying free wherever... just not here.
I doubt myself and I think I am worth nothing.
I think I am not good enough and that's why I don't get anywhere despite my hard work.
But a friend of mine tells me that people fear my brilliance. So they don't support me because they don't want to give me the opportunity to be someone they would like to be.
But how does this help me?
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| Image from Pixabay |
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Credit pictures
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I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Wow you are a very deep person.
ReplyDeleteOnly a few understand what I want to say. Much appreciated.
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