Home alone

No, I am not referring to the famous movie, but to a fact.
Before Christmas, I've been asked what were my plans and with whom I was going to spend the magical time.




--- Well, I'll be home, alone.
--- What!!!? Why? Don't you have friends? No one to spend Christmas with? 
--- It's a choice?! I have to take care of some things,  I need to be alone. 
--- I am so sorry, no one should be alone this period, it's sad and unhealthy. 
--- Sad and unhealthy for whom?!?

I am a very solitary person, I love being/living alone. I like to think, to read and write. I NEED quiet, peace, order and a free toilet. (So boring, I know!!! :D)
You can't think in two (or more).
You don't need a second person to be able to read.
Writing is personal, only you can do it (unless you are paying someone to type or write for you).

--- Am I happy? 
Happiness is a state of mind, very difficult to reach. You have to learn to be happy, it's not something you are born with.
You've learned to walk, to speak, to kiss... You can learn to feel happy too. Practice... .
--- It's a work in progress. I'll get there one day. 

I've never liked living with other people. It's a nightmare for me. 
Living with other people requires many compromises. The problem is that I am always the one who has to do them and it doesn't worth it.
As I said, most people don't care about others, most don't show respect nor understanding. I am tired of being tolerant with people that couldn't care less.
I get the fact that certain humans (?!) find my way of doing/being absurd, but they don't know my history. 

I love to cook, to stay up late, to walk naked around the house.... Freedom is everything to me, I'd pay any price.
If I am alone, I can think and BE myself.
If I am with people, I think of them and try to adjust to their rhythm, ignoring my wealth being.

It's my life, I don't need anyone/anything. I can take care of myself and I love being on my own.
I don't feel lonely (most of the time) and I, most certainly, won't accept careless behaviors just to be with someone/anyone.
If someone doesn't understand my needs, it means that person doesn't care. 
So, for this Christmas, everything I wanted was peace of mind. And I had it. I went and got it. Alone.

Don't feel for me, I could have done many other things, but I've chosen solitude so I can re-find myself. It had to be done. For me.
Being with other people would have slowed the process.
I prefer to fight my demons right away. Postponing is counter productive. Ignoring or hiding is even worse. If you know what's broken, you can fix it.

In the next post, I will write about people who play the card: "Your friendship means a lot to me", but at the same time, their facts prove otherwise. Humans... with flaws... We all have them.


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Thank you for your visit. See you soon, amazing human being.


2 Comments

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  1. Very well written, Cristina. It's a nice little insight on a point of view that very few people understand, I find. Many people seem to think of 'alone' and 'lonely' as being the same thing. They are not. We all enjoy our own company sometimes, some more often than others and some may even prefer solitude to others' company. The problem begins when those who don't understand this also refuse to accept it. It is true that we were probably originally pack animals, living in a society that depended on others for more than just survival, but social interaction as well. But to some extent, we have physically outgrown this - many people's understanding of this hasn't yet though. Thank you for writing :)

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    1. Thanks. Yes, I enjoy my own company very much. It gives me time to understand who I am, what I want and plan what needs to be done in order to achieve my dreams/desires, etc. But I do understand that solitude it's not option for many people. Thank you for taking time to read and thanks so much for your smart comments. Have a great year!

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