Life is short...

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--- Why are you still single?
I've been asked several times since I'm in England. Not so often as when I was living in Italy and Romania though.
In Romania is absolutely the first question any person asks you everytime you meet.
Actually, it's a different question, even more annoying:
--- Why haven't got married by now? 
I have to bite my tongue/lips to not reply in a very impolite way... .
--- Mind your own business, mate! 
I remember once when I couldn't stop myself  not paying with the same coin (as Italians would say).
--- Can't you guess?! Have a look at me: I am ugly, lazy and stupid. What imbecile would want to propose to a person like me?! 
No comment from the other side.
I am single because I chose to! 
Because I didn't want to give up and accept any man who proposed to me. 
I've been in love a few times in my life, but the relationships I had were far from what I needed it.

Some people even dared to tell me that I am too demanding, maybe, or I want a perfect man, who doesn't exist.
What I want is to be loved with passion and respect. But more important, is to be loved by the same person I love.
I was very much loved in my life, but I couldn't exchange the feelings. Terrible experiences.

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I do not want to be alone whole my life, that's for sure, but I also cannot be with just anyone for the sake of it.
I am not dreaming about prince Charming on a white horse, - I have never believed in fairy tales - I am not looking for a perfect man, I am looking for the perfect man for me. The One.

I can take care of myself, I work, I pay my bills, my rent, I don't need someone to provide for me.
What I want is someone to hold me tight when I feel lonely or down.
- someone to listen to me when I want to talk (and I don't always want to talk)
- someone who would speak to me when something bothers him.
- someone who would see inside me, understand, treasure and respect my nature.
- someone who would dry my tears when I feel like crying (I am not a cryer, but I do cry from time to time)
- someone who'd care for people's feelings and will not want just to have fun ('cause life is short).
Of course, I mentioned these because I would do the same and more.
- I need someone who I can trust and rely on...
I give you, you give me. 
That's the way it goes any relationship. An exchange.
I want someone to complete me, not to command me, to use me, to deny me the right of using my brain.
I am no one's property, you give me what I need and I will give you what you need. Just talk to me, ask for it if I don't understand.

Maybe I will find someone, or maybe not. I haven't lost hope, but I don't think about it too often. I move on with my life. If it happens to find that one who'll make me melt everytime he'll touch me, well I will feel extremely lucky and happy, if not... It means is the way it was supposed to be. My fate.
I didn't close the door, but I choose who to let in.
And sometimes I feel so lonely that I would give anything for a hug.., but when I think about the consequences, I "man up", raise my head and smile.
I don't like complicated, but life is not so simple as we say or think.

It is not so difficult to find someone, but it is extremely demanding to find the right one for you.

If you can relate to this story, I feel like telling you not to despair, no matter your age, I promise you'll find love one day. And all the loneliness won't be in vain. Keep yourself free when the time will come and don't endure loneliness in two.

Italians have a saying: "Better to be alone than in a bad company."
Romanians have a complete opposite one: "It's tough being with the wrong person, but it's tougher being alone (or without)."
Some people can't cope with loneliness, I can't cope with being with a person who doesn't give me what I need = makes me happy.
Choose what's best for you!
We only live once!
Life is short, but it's extremely long when you are with the wrong person. 
Don't punish yourself like this, wait and accept the loneliness.
One day all of these will have a sense.

Ps . If you agree or enjoyed what you've read, one like on Facebook  would be much appreciate it. Or, if you are very generous, leave a short/long comment. Thank you.

1 comment:

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