Dear Literary Agent – I am a great investment!

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I am a writer, Yes I am!
You haven't heard about me yet, but I fall asleep replying to your phone call.
You - “Hello. May I speak with Cristina G?”
Me - “Speaking.”
You – “I know you're a writer and I am interested in helping you get published.”
Me - “....”
You - “Cristina? Hello?! Are you still there?”
Me - “Yes, sorry,” wiping off my tears, “What took you so long?”

Everyone has a dream, mine is to become a world-class writer. You've heard this countless times before. So have I. I am sorry, I can't invent new words to attract your attention.
What about this? 
I wake up at 4:15 Am three or four days a week. I don't go out, I don't watch TV, I am not present on social media, and I keep my phone switched off for 23 hours a day.
When I don't go to work, I write.
When I don't write, I study. 
When I don't study, I sleep. 
When I don't sleep, I cook and eat. 
And when I don't eat, I fast. For at least three days in a row. Luckily, breathing comes naturally.

If your dream is to find a writer you can count on, don't look further: I am your best bet.

My life is on hold, I only live when I write. And I am so tired of being ripped off of ideas every time I publish a new post! Loads of people are making money on behalf of my work when my parents are struggling. It's dispiriting.

I have been looking for an agent/publisher since I've started writing. What a despondent and time-consuming task! It made me lose hope and courage to keep working on my dream. So I gave up on the unsuccessful search and dared to ask my friends if they could help. Of course, they couldn't. Everybody's got a life.
Then I decided I will be publishing myself. Self-publishing that is. I spent a few weeks looking for the right company to give life to my stories. And I am still very undecided. Mostly because I am a traditionalist, but also because of my low budget.

I have loads of intricate stories to tell, many are real, some are fiction, others are a mix between the two.
I am worried I won't have enough time to put them all down on paper if I keep investing my time searching for a needle in a haystack.

Please, would you take a chance on me? I promise you won't regret it.

Here are some things about me.

  • I am not a child anymore.
  • My English is work in progress.
  • Huge life experience and incredible background.
  • Boundless potential.
  • Overwhelming passion and grit.
  • Versatility.
  • An inexhaustible source of amazing ideas.
  • Outstanding determination.
  • I might be writing about common subjects, but my style is far from ordinary.

Pluses: very pleasant appearance, charisma, great cooking skills. I could cook for you anytime.

I have been working incredibly hard for so many years to get here, and the best is yet to come.
I believe I have the right qualities to impress the world with my compelling (and easy to read) stories and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please, do not delay much, my parents are running out of time.

Your next favourite writer,
Cristina G.

Image from Pixabay


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