Thursday, 16 March 2017

Snobbism or resentment


Have you ever realised that you've done or said something which sounded a little snob from your side?
I have, a few times. When I refused, for example, to watch movies with Leonardo di Caprio or listen to Justin Bieber's songs.

I thought Leonardo was just a caprice's girls and had no talent whatsoever. The day I watched The Aviator, I realised with shame what a bloody snob I was! I asked for forgiveness in my mind. Hope he heard my honest apologies. He's a very talented and powerful actor.

Justin Bieber, this handsome and sweet boy, made furores on this planet with his heartbreaking songs. He split the world in two. Half of it adored him, half ridiculed him for reasons I never really understood.
I must admit, I still don't know any of his songs, I just heard about them. The real reason I don't listen to him is because he's too "young" for me. I don't relate to his messages. If he was my age, or have been born in my era, like Backstreet Boys, for example, I would have loved him.

But why people made so many memes about him?
Is it because of snobbism, jealousy, envy, pure hate or lack of discernment?
If you ridiculed him along with so many others, you might have an answer. I didn't dislike him, I cannot pronounce myself.

I once met a guy who owns a 3D huge TV. As you might know by now, I am not fond of TVs, however, I love movies.
He told me that he watched all movies made in this quality. Even porn.
I promise! That's what he told me at least.

The first movie in three-dimensional I watched (in cinemas) was Avatar. I absolutely loved it. For me, it's the best movie ever made in 3D until now. I repeat, in my opinion. So I asked him what did he think of it.
His reply was simply, "I never watched it."
"What?!" I asked in shock. "Why? You just said you saw every movie ever made? Why not Avatar, the first film in this category?"
"Everyone watched it."
WOW, wow, wow and wow again. Now, that was the first and real proof of snobbism I ever encountered.
I discussed with the guy about it and we ended up watching it together. He loved it and said I was right. I didn't care about being right or wrong. Honestly. I just wanted him to watch a great story and think for himself. Make his own ideas and not believe he's better than others because he refused to watch Avatar.
I didn't like the guy after that. It was such a disappointment for me. He manipulated me into believing he was an intelligent person by watching countless documentaries on various subjects in my company. One week later he was sitting in front of the TV for hours watching shows after shows after shows. That's when he told me that he cannot stand documentaries and only wanted to impress me. :D
But this is a different story.

I don't go to that restaurant because everyone goes there.
I won't read that book because all my girlfriends read it.
I refuse to visit Rome. All roads lead to Rome.
I don't wear white shoes because people would call me "Essex girl". - I love white shoes and I simply don't care what people say about me. "People have tongues to speak." - Romanians say.
People will always speak about one another, especially when their lives are empty.

"SNOB - a person who believes that their tastes in a particular area are superior to those of other people." Says Google.

Image from Px
If you appreciate it, don't hesitate to like, share, comment, or join me on Facebook, on the other blogs I own: Carpe Diem De gustibus non est disputandumPovestea Isabellei, and on LinkedIn.

Thank you for your visit. See you soon, amazing human being.

Sunday, 26 February 2017

Crush


I must warn you, I had a glass of red wine before starting to write this silly post.

I am stuck with two finished books ready to be published.
I cannot write a blurb to submit them to a literary agent/publisher.
A writer unable to write a blurb. Who would have thought?
Anyway, it makes sense if you think about it. A writer is not a business person although he/she writes for a living.
However, I am disappointed in myself... oh wait, is it disappointed with, by, in?!? Which preposition is correct? I looked up online and couldn't come with a straight answer. Never mind.

This post is just for taking my mind away from writing as I am on the edge of insanity.

I watched Assassin's Creed yesterday. Yeap. Me, a person who despise any sort of violence. Full of contradiction I am, I am very much aware of that, don't worry.

But I didn't watch it for the plot. I actually didn't like it at all. And I didn't watch it because of the game... I am not a computer/play station player. The only games I play are words games on Merriam-Webster. Hmmm... curious how I think they stole my idea with the picture on this page.

Anyway, I watched Assasin's Creed because of Michael Fassbender. I have a crush on him. He is utterly irresistible. The sexiest man alive - besides Enrique Iglesias, of course.

Picture from Powellong
Before him, I had a crush on Jensen Ackles - one of the two protagonists of Supernatural - a TV show.

Picture from freshwallpapers
And I finally realised that I do have a type in matter of men: tall, white collars = men in suit, handsome, funny, VIP = unattainable. Yeap. That's why I am single. - And because I am nuts, but don't tell anyone.

If I was lesbian I would have a crush on Monica Bellucci, Kate Winslet and... myself. Yeap. A little narcissism can't do me any harm, can it?

I discovered Michael Fassbender when I watched 12 Years a Slave and the role he played disgusted me. Brrr.
Then I watched Steve Jobs because Kate Winslet was in it (my favourite actress). I wasn't impressed much, neah.
But A Dangerous method, wow! That was... wow! I loved the role he played, although he wasn't a good guy.
I think that was when I thought he was an amazingly good looking human. Maybe because I am interested in psychology and Carl Jung is one of my favourite psychiatrists, quite unclear why I liked him so much. To be fair, Keira Knightley played brilliantly, as usual.
I have to watch Jane Eyre as I love Charlotte Brontë. Absolutely.

I also like Benedict Cumberbatch, but I don't think is because of his handsomeness, more because of his role in Sherlock Holmes. Arrogant prick, but what a genius!

However, despite my crush on him, I will not watch Alien: Covenant. That's too much for me. Sorry. Assasin's Creed is my limit.

I have come back to the post 5 minutes after I published it because I remembered I had a crush on Theo James while watching the Divergent series.

Image from 
Then again, I loved  Eddie Redmayne in The Theory of Everything. Beautiful British accent and freckles!!!
As you can see, my crushes are very volatile. They normally last for a few hours, or days. But definitely, I do not spend my time dreaming about them.
It happens when I watch a movie with them.
I don't think is a matter of physical appearance as is a matter of talent, my state of mind and the role they play. God knows who will be the next.

Image from Wallpaperscraft

Friday, 24 February 2017

Burnt


I am tired.
It is not a tiredness that one can just shake off with a quiet holiday in a nice location.
No. A month,  a year, or a decade wouldn't do me any good. On the contrary. A week away will make me feel so guilty... "I have wasted precious time..."
I reached the ultimate level of exhaustion.

But how one gets here?
Forty years of breathing without actually living. The surviving mode is called.

I need something good to happen in my life. 

I used to read a lot and that was my way of evading the cruel reality.  
Now I write, don't have time for reading much, I have my own stories to tell. 
But life is passing me by and I am losing hope.

After I finished my first novel, more and less a month ago, I started the look for ways to publish it.
How many times you've heard writers complaining about how difficult is to get noticed? 
Infinite times I guess. So do I.
I thought I've seen them all. In the end, life is a battle itself. However, getting published is so much more than that.
You need to find someone to believe in you, and if you can't, money could help you.

What if you cannot find that person and you don't have the money? 
Well, you're doomed.

But what if you are a writer and the language you write in is not your mother tongue? 
What if not even your friends are able to see beyond your language skills? 
What if you are waking up at 4 Am every morning only to guide your body and mind towards the road of perdition?
What if you are fighting against the wind?
What if it's not your destiny to fulfil your dream on this earth? 

Is there anyone that could answer these questions? 
God? The Universe? Aliens maybe? Michael Fassbender? Benedict Cumberbatch?
What if only a miracle could save you? 

I don't know. I thought I believed in miracles.



P.S.
You might have seen "Burnt", the movie in which Bradley Cooper is a famous chef who only feels that the kitchen is the only place he belonged.
Although this is an inspirational movie, I avoided to watch it for a very long time because it brought to mind terrible memories.
Tonight I watched it to prove myself that I can overcome restrictions and phobias. I am not sure it was a good idea.
There is one scene in that movie that scared me to death. On the floor, defeated, he cried, "I am tired."
I know exactly what he meant. However, he was not alone. A writer has only the paper and the pen, the typewriter or the computer. These cannot speak to you. Unless you are hearing voices.
I am not there yet. Thank God!



Friday, 17 February 2017

The Theory of Blame

This post is a continuation of "Are my parents perfect?"

When I was a child, people used to think that humans can't change. There was an absolute belief going around, "If you're born from two bad people, you are doomed to be bad too. No matter what. You had no power to modify or correct a poor behaviour. You only had to accept it and move on."
I always disagreed with that and when I grew up, I found out that I was right to refuse that conviction.

People can change, people can learn new skills, people can be great, people can be human, no matter where and from whom are they born.
People can be absolutely everything they want to be. 



There are humans who blame their parents for physical and/or psychological abuses. Such an abomination these parents who shouldn't have children.
But guess what? The children who were abused do exactly the same to their children.

Why is that? Whose fault is it now? Their parents? 
What if those parents blamed their parents?! 
And what if these parents, again, blamed their parents?!?!
Is this circle of blame ever going to break?

The equation of blame will never be solved if we don't stop, look inside us and do our absolute best to solve it.

Here is how.
Can you read, hear, speak, see? Then what's stopping you from becoming the person you want to be? Watch documentaries, read books, educate yourself.
You want to be able to knit, ride a bicycle, play an instrument, cook a great meal, write a book?
All you need is willpower, knowledge, and goals. From there is one single thing to do: Practice. 

You are the master of your true essence. Your parents might have given you bad examples, but you don't have to follow them.

Stop being a victim.
Stop blaming your parents, your partner, the society, the president or the king, the global warming or the weather. It's a waste of time and energy.

Blame + blame - action = blame. Action - blame = greatness. Simple as that.

If today you're a criminal, it is not because of what was done on to you, but because of what you haven't done to yourself.

If you can't cook, it is not your mother's fault.
If you're an alcoholic and beat your children, it is not your father to blame.
If you smoke, it is not because your DNA.
If you can't resist temptations, it is not because your grand grandfather was an inveterate cards player.

YOU have the power and the huge potential to be a great person despite your heredity. 
It is all within YOU!

I know that this post will attract a lot of polemics and divergent opinions, but you know as well as I do, it's the honest and cruel truth.


If you appreciate it, don't hesitate to like, share, comment, or join me on Facebook, on the other blogs I own: Carpe Diem De gustibus non est disputandumPovestea Isabellei, and on LinkedIn.

Thank you for your visit. See you soon, amazing human being.

Friday, 10 February 2017

Dear Literary Agent – I am a great investment!



I am a writer, Yes I am!
You haven't heard about me yet, but I fall asleep replying to your phone call.
You - “Hello. May I speak with Cristina G?”
Me - “Speaking.”
You – “I know you're a writer and I am interested in helping you get published.”
Me - “....”
You - “Cristina? Hello?! Are you still there?”
Me - “Yes, sorry,” wiping off my tears, “What took you so long?”

Everyone has a dream, mine is to become a world-class writer. You've heard this countless times before. So have I. I am sorry, I can't invent new words to attract your attention.
What about this? 
I wake up at 4:15 Am three or four days a week. I don't go out, I don't watch TV, I am not present on social media, and I keep my phone switched off for 23 hours a day.
When I don't go to work, I write.
When I don't write, I study. 
When I don't study, I sleep. 
When I don't sleep, I cook and eat. 
And when I don't eat, I fast. For at least three days in a row. Luckily, breathing comes naturally.

If your dream is to find a writer you can count on, don't look further: I am your best bet.

My life is on hold, I only live when I write. And I am so tired of being ripped off of ideas every time I publish a new post! Loads of people are making money on behalf of my work when my parents are struggling. It's dispiriting.

I have been looking for an agent/publisher since I've started writing. What a despondent and time-consuming task! It made me lose hope and courage to keep working on my dream. So I gave up on the unsuccessful search and dared to ask my friends if they could help. Of course, they couldn't. Everybody's got a life.
Then I decided I will be publishing myself. Self-publishing that is. I spent a few weeks looking for the right company to give life to my stories. And I am still very undecided. Mostly because I am a traditionalist, but also because of my low budget.

I have loads of intricate stories to tell, many are real, some are fiction, others are a mix between the two.
I am worried I won't have enough time to put them all down on paper if I keep investing my time searching for a needle in a haystack.

Please, would you take a chance on me? I promise you won't regret it.

Here are some things about me.

Weaknesses:
  • I am not a child anymore.
  • My English is work in progress.
Strengths:
  • Huge life experience and incredible background.
  • Boundless potential.
  • Overwhelming passion and grit.
  • Versatility.
  • An inexhaustible source of amazing ideas.
  • Outstanding determination.
  • I might be writing about common subjects, but my style is far from ordinary.

Pluses: very pleasant appearance, charisma, great cooking skills. I could cook for you anytime.

I have been working incredibly hard for so many years to get here, and the best is yet to come.
I believe I have the right qualities to impress the world with my compelling (and easy to read) stories and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please, do not delay much, my parents are running out of time.


Your next favourite writer,
Cristina G.

Image from Pixabay